Around 1.4 million dogs in the UK show signs of distress when they are left alone. That is 13% of owners in RSPCA and PDSA surveying, rising to 14% for dogs who arrived since 2020. Six in ten vets say behaviour problems have got worse over the last two years.
If that is your dog, you are not doing something unusual or something wrong. You are in a very large group of people, most of whom have gone looking for help online and found it unhelpful. In one British Veterinary Association survey, 40% of vets said pet owners' online research was often unhelpful. Only 6% found it useful.
So here is our attempt at the useful version. Most of it costs nothing. We have put the free things first on purpose.
The ten minutes before you leave matter more than the toy
Almost everyone gets this backwards. The long, sympathetic goodbye at the door tells your dog that your leaving is a significant event worth worrying about.
- Leave without ceremony. Coat, keys, door. No speech.
- Walk them before, not after. A dog who has already run settles more easily than one who is waiting for something to happen.
- Start the thing before you go. Hand over whatever is going to occupy them while you are still there, so it is already interesting by the time the door shuts.
- Do the leaving cues at random times when you are not going anywhere. Pick up the keys, put your coat on, then sit back down. It stops the cues predicting the absence.
Give them something to do
A bored dog and an anxious dog look similar from the outside, and both are helped by having a job. Licking, sniffing and chewing are the three that occupy dogs for longest.
Lick mats, done properly
Most people spread a lick mat like toast and it is empty in ninety seconds. Layer it instead. Thin layer of yoghurt, freeze. Another layer, freeze. Three layers takes about twenty minutes to get through instead of two.
Make them the night before and take one out of the freezer as you leave.
The towel game, which is free
Scatter a handful of their dry food along a towel, roll it up loosely, and let them work it out. Costs nothing, works nearly as well as anything you can buy, and most dogs find sniffing more tiring than walking.
Feed the whole meal as a puzzle
There is no rule that dinner has to come in a bowl. A slow feeder or a treat ball turns two minutes of eating into fifteen minutes of problem-solving, at no extra cost, because it is the same food.
The room they are left in
- Somewhere enclosed. Most dogs settle better with their back to something and a view of the door — a covered bed, a crate with the door open, the corner behind the sofa.
- Background sound covers the street noises that cause the sudden reactions. Radio talk stations work better than music for a lot of dogs.
- Close the curtains if what sets them off is people walking past.
Build the time up slowly, and come back too early
The instinct is to test how long they can manage. Do the opposite. Return before they get upset, not after.
Two minutes, then back. Five minutes, then back. If you come back to a dog who has already been distressed for twenty minutes, the lesson they have learned is that being alone leads to panic — which is the opposite of the one you wanted to teach.
A camera helps here, because it tells you when they actually settle rather than when you assume they do.
When none of this is enough
Everything above is for a dog who finds being alone boring or unsettling. Genuine separation anxiety is a different thing and it does not respond to a better toy.
Signs worth taking to a professional:
- Distress that starts before you leave, while you are getting ready
- Destruction focused on doors and windows rather than on furniture generally
- Howling or barking that continues for most of the absence
- Toileting indoors by a dog who is otherwise reliable
- Drooling, pacing or refusing food the moment you go
Start with your vet, not a trainer. Some of what looks like anxiety is pain, and some is medical. Your vet can rule that out and refer you to a qualified behaviourist if that is what is needed.
A behaviourist is not cheap. It is also the thing that works, and it is worth more than anything on this page.
What we sell, and what we are not claiming
We sell lick mats, slow feeders, puzzle toys, chews and covered beds. They are useful and they are not a treatment.
We are not going to tell you that a lick mat cures anxiety, because it does not, and any shop that tells you otherwise is selling you something. What these things do is give a dog something absorbing to do while you are out, which for a lot of dogs is genuinely most of the problem.
If yours is one of the ones it is not enough for, please go and see your vet. We would rather say that than sell you a second lick mat.
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Sources: PDSA Animal Wellbeing (PAW) Report; RSPCA guidance on separation-related behaviour; British Veterinary Association survey on owners' online research. This page is general information, not veterinary advice — if you are worried about your dog, speak to your vet.